Oh! Just let it free uh... Really?

An acquaintance of mine keeps sending me forwards on LOVE, PYAAR, ISHQ, blah blah blah.....

Not that I condemn this but here you go look at this: I just recieved it:

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me.Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool; she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this:

"You see this water carefully contained in my hand? It symbolizes Love."

This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there.

However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first crack it finds. This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love... they try to posses it, they demand, they expect... and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you. For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.

# Give and don't expect.

# Advise, but don't order.

# Ask, but never demand.

It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring."Passing thought... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away...

WOW!!! that was Swami Vivekananda, one of the forwarded mails... Beautiful to know but painful to realize. Are we all so selfless to love anyone so much that we find beauty in actions of love and walk over our ego?

You know this right...? Gone are the days when love was spiritual, magical, magnanimous, ungrudging-admiration, idolizing, devotion...!!! Days of the sort even existed? Whoever says they did... oh well lovely legendary tales... Are they? Oh did I sound craggy... Ooops... well that wasn't my intention at all.

But sure obviosuly one is always happy to read and feel happy about the recorded scriptures on LOVE or rather LUUUHV..... that they can go to any extent with it but when it comes to functioning the way... snap and they are gone, so would I be.... OK by now, I am in stitches...

But well even I enjoyed reading this. Laxmi yes... what a hypocrite!!! Sorry I cannot lobour for LOVE or whatever it is called.

Contemplating

Trip back from Bangkok via Srilanka- transit... stay over in Colombo's Browns Beach Hotel... least asked for!!! Getting back seemed far-flung. But did I actually want to be back? May be I did... exhausted, anxious, jittery... yet longing to get back to see your loved ones smile. But of course not all are your loved ones... and there are those who make you frown, yeeeuuw just their presence... Can one possibly escape anything? so just GRIN AND BEAR!

How can a day be longer than 24 hours? Trust me it was... No seriously... it was!!! The thought of staying over was baneful and for all the sublime days I spent in Thailand, this stop over... definitely wasn't needed at all.

But Irony!!! Browns Beach Hotel was quite a neat place, yes NEAT as my dear friend would put it... and I had forgotten it was a transit and was lost or may be even rapt to even know I was heading home... home did I say? HOUSE rather.

I once told Nic: "home for me isn't any place in particular... but it is when I am with the right kind of people." I was applauded for it. I was quite proud of what I had said. But was it to the right kind of people I was coming back to? I could nod when I thought of some and then quell at the thought of many... not just people but troubles and situations...

Moving on... I had a wonderful evening in Colombo and couldn't remember when I fell off to sleep... wake up call from the reception and there I was getting ready to leave...

A pleasant trip back with a warm and benevolent couple flying down with me to Bangalore. They looked really happy together... even in their 60s or 70s!!! The man spoke to me with such warmth and love, something so mesmerizing about him and every time he mentioned something to me... he would look to his right where his wife was sat as if to get a confirmation nod from her of the facts he was delivering... and that to me was a reassuring fact about relationships. Whoever did that now???

She had a gentle smile and did I become their someone for a minute... or throughout the trip without them realizing and was it just me secretly? A sense of belonging. It felt great... reminded me of times and occasions I had lived and wished it would manifest again. How daft!!! Surprisingly, it was difficult to say bye to the two... like they had become someone close in just an hour and 10 minutes. I sped up ahead of them... immigration, baggage claim and off I was gone. Prayed hard and wished to see them again... why? Strange feeling... it lasts though.

Our state of normalcy is a term that does not occur. At times I feel I question if I am living at the mercy of my parents’ early departure from my life? It is said, “whatever happens or whatever has happened is for the good.” So is this what it is? Am I meant to enjoy their absence in my life and dwell on sympathies? Do I do that? I think I do... shamelessly fall prey to pseudo love and affection. I gaze at intimacy... a child in her mother's arms, little girls clinging on to their father's fingers, walking the streets... why does it hurt? Why don't I be happy about it?

Wander away mind and rest placidly. You are stronger than I am... so let us take this joyous ride together... but don't lose me... or else I will sob.