An Unsung Strain

I saw a bird dart past

Past her roosting time

Steered by the wind she floundered

Teary-eyed she cruised along the night sky

She flapped her wings and shrieked and heaved

Is it a lost jewel she is crying over?

Or a deceitful lover?

Will she perch before the rain?

For the weather was far from jolly

The horizon bore a daunting silhouette

Unceasing lightning swallowed the black

Lo and behold! The heavens opened

And down gushed a furious flood

Wretched by a canker and the soul of an owl

I flung open the creaky timber window

In dashed a flurry, splashing me

As though to ameliorate

For the long mucky day was far from bearable

The portico was a mossy pool now

I put my left foot forward

I had enough of being asked to put my right foot forward!

A chill ran through my toe and upward, popping my eyes

Caressing me, touching me without touching

Like my man did, every time I refused him a game of love

His whispers resonated in my ears

My breasts swelled, my lips apart and breaths grew heavier

For I was overcome by a desire far from sufferable

The doorbell rang stirring me up,

He is here, my man! I was certain

I trotted to the door longing for the warmth of his mouth

And the firmness of his hands

Unbolting three bothersome locks 

I threw opened the hindering wood

There stood a man in uniform

But he was not mine to embrace

For he looked sorry far from a cheerful meeting

Holding his gaze down, he gave me the news

My limbs froze and I was buckled down

Rain lashed about the doors, windows and roof

Like iron chains beating down dilapidated buildings

My throat was parched, my breath grew faint

Beads of sweat, lined my brows

My gullet fought to wash down a lump of air

A sharp shooting pain criss-crossed my heart

For my song had died far from being hummed

Gauge My Addiction

Are addictions to be treated or to be revelled in

I ought to know, for I have an addiction

Perhaps more than one

For now, I indulge with guilt

But do tell me if I am culpable

What am I addicted to? Must you ask

Oh! It is not a thing I am addicted to

It is, but a being I have grown fond of

Or maybe it is a thing like you surmised

But it is neither opium nor spirits

Who are you addicted to? Would you then ask

Oh! It is not any soul I am attached to

It is but a tool I talk into modulating my pitch

Or maybe it is a being like you suspected

But he is neither my cherished divinity nor my man

Perhaps I am dodging your questions

For you are yet to reveal to me 

If addictions are to be treated or to be reveled in

Rollicking in my addictions I smile I chuckle I laugh

Ashore my addictions I am typical and a downer

And I dawdle around seeking to bask in my addictions

But before I am overcome by guilt or rushed to a rehab by the mortals

Show me the door I should knock at if I am not chargeable or unholy...

The door is only half shut

Where have you both gone
One after the other
Do we shut the door or wait
It's been a while now

It's been a while now
We still haven't heard from you
The mail box is empty
Your images are fading from our memory

Your images are fading from our memory
Your families are no more into us
They don't ring us or check on us like before
We miss you now like never before

We miss you now like never before
We pulled out the dusty photo-albums to relive moments with you
How do we get in touch
To what address do we post a letter

To what address do we post a letter
The mailman tells us no letter will get to you
We keep awake day and night, not to miss the doorbell
The telephone has gone quiet too

The telephone has gone quiet too
We don't take it off the hook for you to ring us
Why don't you call or write to us
Don't you care no more

Don't you care no more
Don't our tears and pouts melt your hearts no more
Don't you worry about us being alone no more
Are you no more curious about the new pals we make

Are you no more curious about the new pals we make
Some do hurt us you know
But then you hadn't warned us
Why didn't you tell us when you left

Why didn't you tell us when you left
Like we always did when out to play and meet friends and even work
That was your rule, not ours
You have violated every rule you had set

You have violated every rule you had set
We no more know what you want
And we hence decided to be cross with you and the world
We still are cross but no more angry

The door is only half shut...

Every time you say fairies don't exist you kill YOURS!!!

She is an angel in disguise or may be not; she is cuter and smaller than an angel and of course a lot more fun; probably she is a fairy. She has her wand hidden away somewhere in her designer handbag. But she swishes it ever so often that my wishes have grown wings now.

Unlike Tinkerbell she takes no credit for her magical spells. Fairy dust is all over me but she still thinks I am unaware she is the one. She has a hand full of chores, she juggles them with great ease and thinks it's no big deal.

I met her then when the bubble I lived in burst and I fell with a thud and broke my limbs. It was slippery and dark where I landed. I lost my grip, I felt flighty and cluttered as I went sliding into some bottomless depth. "That's it, it's all over" I thought, till I felt light and weightless like a feather.

It was her! She was gentle, her smile was cherubic. She harboured me. I was unsure as I leaned on, if I weighed more than she could bear. But she couldn't be bothered if it was so. She wanted to do more. More with no pretences.

Outside my room I hear her wings flutter to take off to Neverland probably... to bring back more fairy dust or to swish her wand to make wishes come alive. She can hide as much as she likes from me but I know for a fact she is "Neenabell" the fairy.

'We' belong to the stars in the sky

Our successes never celebrated by them
Our slips under their lens
I wanted to belong there
He wanted away from them

War of words spiralled out
Neither was convinced by the other
He stuck to his say
And I to mine

He disapproved my efforts to belong
They disapproved his ways of life
I disapproved their judgements of him
Saga of our futile attempts of 'to belong or not to belong'

We took one another to task
We can't stand eye to eye
Why can't you
Why should I

We walked away to be at peace, far away to the horizon
To gaze at our two stars in the distant sky
But his hand was in mine now, my head on his shoulder
When had we walked away from each other? Where did we come together?

I didn't want to belong anymore
Their mind games failed to get me now
Our mind games began to get them now!!
Phew! or what? I chuckle these days.

In a new light

New is good? Not always I am sure, but now, here, it feels good. I am beginning to like it. It was weird to start with... new job, new home, new number and perhaps a new me.

Of course, things have changed for me after recovering from an untimely chicken pox, yes untimely because I wasn't looking for an excuse to rest, relax or be nursed ;P

Neither was I on the payroll of a busy editorial team nor was I a student tired of taking exams or other academic chores, wanting to fall ill!
A: "Chicken pox is life changing... things are going to change for you."

B:"My life was turned around after I recovered from chicken pox. It is true... don't laugh now..."

C:"Don't be annoyed... you just wait and watch your life is going to change!"

"What is the big deal, what's the life changing factor?" I don't wonder so anymore... Yes, change is obvious to the extent that I am not scared of dogs anymore! I know, but that's true. I am officially now not scared of dogs!

But that is not enough, I need to see more, more changes. A little more from life. And so it is said: SEEING IS BELIEVING! :) So make me believe!

I Mark time

The winters are painful in your absence
You are not around, you are not mine anymore
The pranks we pulled, the secrets we shared
All seem to have vanished

Those games we played and the bruises you gave
Have been closer to me than memories of greater life events
I look at them with love of a glorious childhood we had together
Those fights weren’t fights those hate spats weren’t hatred
But love in retrospect

And today the bruises you have given me
Though not carnal are deeper than all scars I bear
But they hurt me, they sting me
Your silence and your untraceable thoughts kill me
I am scared to love else and I may soon forget to trust

There was bearing in every look of yours, I felt safe then but vulnerable today
Today I tremble at a future staring at me
I hide behind every bend but I am spotted
Our separateness speak volumes of your absence
I cry and cry and cry and with a misty pair of eyes look for you

I grope for your hands I was entrusted into
I don’t feel them, I can’t reach them and I fall
In hope you’ll be back to help me up
And I touch the scar under my chin from that old fight of ours
And console a cheerless self that you’ll be back
Before the winter passes...